It’s funny how timing can work sometimes. Yesterday I wrote about how I felt like I was always reverting to an old version of me every time I came back to Canada. And later on, that night, while wasting time on Facebook I came across a screenshot that really resonated home.
I, unfortunately, have no idea where it was coming from, but the post said: “A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you”.
It blew my mind.
And I was shocked as to how obvious that was.
It got me thinking, why did it never occur to me before?
Of course, no one will see you the same way. To your mother, you are a daughter or a son with particular qualities and weaknesses. And this version of you would be very different if you were to access your lover’s brain, your best friend’s or the grocery clerk’s mind.
How we see people also depends a lot on what we know about them and in what context we see them. When you see people at work, you most likely will keep a more ”professional” front. Whereas if you are with childhood friends or extended family, because of all the baggage and history, the picture will be made from a mosaic of moments.
The way we see ourselves is very different than how people see us. They see us with their own filters of experiences, beliefs, and feelings in that specific moment.
In the same way, my opinion of people is rather guaranteed to be different than how they consider themselves.
I find this fascinating.
And can’t get over the fact that this thought had never crossed my mind. Not in this obvious way anyway.
Of course, I always knew that people saw me differently than how I felt. But some things seem to transpire through.
Last night I went to an Adventure Film Festival organized by some students in the tourism course I did. It was very well organized and I was invited as a special guest since they were presenting the movie Sea Gypsies: the Far Side of the World. This movie was made by Nico during our experience sailing onboard Infinity, from New Zealand to Chile with the most unique stop in Antarctica.
I was a very low key special guest I have to admit, with only a few people sitting around me realizing it was even me. Towards the end of the evening, the lovely wife of one of the organizers came to talk to me, mentioning how interesting it was that I had done such a crazy thing yet I wasn’t really putting it out there for everybody to know.
And that is definitely a strong part of me. I love doing crazy amazing things. And I love sharing them but to a small public. I don’t feel comfortable being in the spotlight, even when it comes to talking about my adventures.
I’ve always been like this, and it might be why I don’t really understand people who can film themselves every day and share all of that on social media. I much prefer having deep or philosophical conversations than to talk about the weather. I have to admit that it’s weird that I struggle to share anything personal and being the centre of the attention when I’m physically with people, but find it a lot easier to open up and share things with words. Even though it ends up being a lot personal than something focusing only on my physique!